Alex1863

My wife is spending us into the ground - mostly buying food, clothes and books (that she never reads) on impulse - and won't even discuss her habits, much less change them. What I'd like to do is close all the credit cards and give her fixed amounts of money for specific things, since she has proven that she can't be trusted with open-ended payment methods like credit cards and checks. However, she gets all offended whenever I even mention money. She won't sit down to look at our budget (at least $300 a month in the red and maybe much more depending on the assumptions), she won't even give me estimates of how much she's going to spend before she goes out shopping, and commitments and promises appear to mean nothing to her - it is impossible to rely on her for even the smallest task.Is there any way to get someone like this to at least take the money issue seriously, or do we need to go straight into counseling?

MamatoaLovie

so just cancel the cards. she'll want to talk to you when she's embarrassed at the store cuz all her credit cards we're declined. do it now before you're seriously in debt. i speak from experience.

QueenoftheUniverse

If she is not willing to talk to you about it you need to give her an ultimatum. Money problems are the number one reason a couple divorces. You tell her that since she refuses to be an adult about the problems that you are having to deal with, you will take matters into your hands and insist on counseling for the both of you to save your marriage.Ha Ha, the first lady is right, you can close the accounts so what can she do? Becareful doing this. My sister had a problem much like your wife's and forged her husband's name and opened numerous accounts in his name so she could she could shop. She snuck around and paid the bills until she racked up so many the bill collectors were calling her house.

LightD

Well overspenders usually compensate for something else that is missing. She needs to talk to someone about it as why is she doing it , what kind of void is she filling by buying stuff ?

joellesdaddy

Pin a balance sheet to the refrigerator. Cancel the cards. Open a separate account of your own.The first two answers were very good, also.

jimrich

learn some good relationship skills (google it) to improve your communications.........or counseling.

VT

Spender vs. saver. It takes two willing and able people to talk about issues including money. Your wife doesn't see a problem and is it up to you to convice her there are issues? I would separate accounts and split all shared bills 50-50. She should pay half of everything. Also a no credit card plan is good. Possibly setting financial goals for savings and vacations will illuminate the fact you are spending beyond your means. She sounds like a spoiled, immature brat....imho.

Toots

If she can't be responsibe and act like an adult then you need to treat her like a child. Do exactly what you said. She WOULD hear what I had to say even if she didn't want to. You just say it. She will hear you unless she physically plugs her ears!

lisa2004

I would attempt to explain to her that you are MARRIED and that means TWO people not just her. Insist that she sits down with you to discuss this topic... it will not get better, only worse! You may need to pull in a third person to try to mediate the issue. I feel that she may have some underlying problems that cause her to spend unconditionally. Do not be mean to her... just firm. Stick to your guns and insist that this topic be discussed with some type of solution that is agreeable to both of you. Could mean she gets a part-time job to pay for the extras. If she needs to stay at home to care for your children while she works, could she possibly babysit another child to give her some extra spending money to buy the things she wants. Good luck with this issue.

honey

does she work?