i thought this was silly!wut do u think?for d AUSSIES!?

sweet_temptation · 12-04-08

These questions about Australia were posted on an Australian Tourism Website and obviously the answers came from a fellow Aussie.1. Q: Does it ever get windy in Australia? I have never seen it rain on TV, so how do the plants grow? (UK)A: We import all plants fully grown and then just sit around watching them die.2. Q: Will I be able to see kangaroos in the street? (USA)A: Depends how much you've been drinking3. Q: I want to walk from Perth to Sydney - can I follow the railroad tracks? (Sweden)A: Sure, it's only three thousand miles, take lots of water...4. Q: Is it safe to run around in the bushes in Australia? (Sweden)A: So its true what they say about Swedes.5. Q: It is imperative that I find the names and addresses of places to contact for a stuffed porpoise. (Italy)A: Let's not touch this one.6. Q: Are there any ATMs (cash machines) in Australia? Can you send me a list of them in Brisbane, Cairns, Townsville and Hervey Bay? (UK)A: What did your last slave die of?7. Q: Can you give me some information about hippo racing in Australia?(USA)A: A-fri-ca is the big triangle shaped continent south of Europe. Aus-tra-lia is that big island in the middle of the pacific which does not... oh forget it. Sure, the hippo racing is every Tuesday night in Kings Cross. Come naked.8. Q: Which direction is North in Australia? (USA)A: Face south and then turn 90 degrees. Contact us when you get here and we'll send the rest of the directions.9. Q: Can I bring cutlery into Australia? (UK)A: Why? Just use your fingers like we do.10.Q: Can you send me the Vienna Boys' Choir schedule? (USA)A: Aus-tri-a is that quaint little country bordering Ger-man-y, which is...oh forget it. Sure, the Vienna Boys Choir plays every Tuesday night in Kings Cross, straight after the hippo races. Come naked.11. Q: Do you have perfume in Australia? (France)A: No, WE don't stink.12. Q: I have developed a new product that is the fountain of youth. Can you tell me where I can sell it in Australia? (USA)A: Anywhere significant numbers of Americans gather.13. Q: Can I wear high heels in Australia? (UK)A: You are a British politician, right?14. Q: Can you tell me the regions in Tasmania where the female population is smaller than the male population? (Italy)A: Yes, gay nightclubs.15. Q: Do you celebrate Christmas in Australia? (France)A: Only at Christmas.16. Q: Are there killer bees in Australia? (Germany)A: Not yet, but for you, we'll import them.17. Q: Are there supermarkets in Sydney and is milk available all year round? (Germany)A: No, we are a peaceful civilisation of vegan hunter gatherers. Milk is illegal.18. Q: Please send a list of all doctors in Australia who can dispense rattlesnake serum. (USA)A: Rattlesnakes live in A-meri-ca which is where YOU come from. All Australian snakes are perfectly harmless, can be safely handled and make good pets.19. Q: I have a question about a famous animal in Australia, but I forget its name. It's a kind of bear and lives in trees. (USA)A: It's called a Drop Bear. They are so called because they drop out of gum trees and eat the brains of anyone walking underneath them. You can scare them off by spraying yourself with human urine before you go out walking.21. Q: I was in Australia in 1969 on R+R, and I want to contact the girl I dated while I was staying in Kings Cross. Can you help? (USA)A: Yes, and you will still have to pay her by the hour.22. Q: Will I be able to speak English most places I go? (USA)A: Yes, but you'll have to learn it first

nikki · 12-04-08

LOL..that IS sillyand who says we eat with our fingers??? unless its like a hot dog.

toffee · 12-04-08

funny or what!!some silly answers true!

wahoo · 12-04-08

LOL yes that is funny, I read one very similar regarding questions about Canada...I love the answers

emilyy · 12-04-08

THE REAL ANSWERS

and whoever did that is pretty funny. lol)1.Q: Does it ever get windy in Australia? I have never seen it rain on TV, so how do the plants grow? (UK)A: It hardly rains anymore. We use gray water.2. Q: Will I be able to see kangaroos in the street? (USA)A: Not in the city.3. Q: I want to walk from Perth to Sydney - can I follow the railroad tracks? (Sweden)A: Sure, it's only three thousand miles, take lots of water...4. Q: Is it safe to run around in the bushes in Australia? (Sweden)A: Probably not. We have a lot of deadly snakes and spiders and stuff.5. Q: It is imperative that I find the names and addresses of places to contact for a stuffed porpoise. (Italy)A: Let's not touch this one.6. Q: Are there any ATMs (cash machines) in Australia? Can you send me a list of them in Brisbane, Cairns, Townsville and Hervey Bay? (UK)A: Yeah. All around7. Q: Can you give me some information about hippo racing in Australia?(USA)A: no.8. Q: Which direction is North in Australia? (USA)A: Face south and then turn 180 degrees. Contact us when you get here and we'll send the rest of the directions.9. Q: Can I bring cutlery into Australia? (UK)A: Why? Just use your fingers like we do.10.Q: Can you send me the Vienna Boys' Choir schedule? (USA)A: Aus-tri-a is that quaint little country bordering Ger-man-y, which is...oh forget it. Sure, the Vienna Boys Choir plays every Tuesday night in Kings Cross, straight after the hippo races. Come naked.11. Q: Do you have perfume in Australia? (France)A: Yeah12. Q: I have developed a new product that is the fountain of youth. Can you tell me where I can sell it in Australia? (USA)A: Anywhere significant numbers of Americans gather.13. Q: Can I wear high heels in Australia? (UK)A: Yeah.14. Q: Can you tell me the regions in Tasmania where the female population is smaller than the male population? (Italy)A: Yes, gay nightclubs.15. Q: Do you celebrate Christmas in Australia? (France)A: Only at Christmas.16. Q: Are there killer bees in Australia? (Germany)A: Not yet, but for you, we'll import them.17. Q: Are there supermarkets in Sydney and is milk available all year round? (Germany)A: Supermarkets everywhere. Milk all year.18. Q: Please send a list of all doctors in Australia who can dispense rattlesnake serum. (USA)A: Rattlesnakes live in A-meri-ca which is where YOU come from. All Australian snakes are perfectly harmless, can be safely handled and make good pets.19. Q: I have a question about a famous animal in Australia, but I forget its name. It's a kind of bear and lives in trees. (USA)A: Koala? It’s not a bear.21. Q: I was in Australia in 1969 on R+R, and I want to contact the girl I dated while I was staying in Kings Cross. Can you help? (USA)A: No.22. Q: Will I be able to speak English most places I go? (USA)A: Yes.

bevad · 13-04-08

That is brilliant. You gotta love thatI love the yank asking if they can speak English in most places and is told yes but they have to learn it first - genius.Some of these questions must be asked by those people who go on holiday and then are astounded they can buy Coca Cola in a foreign country!! Do they have supermarkets and is milk available all year round?Who is the tw*t from the UK saying they have never seen it rain on TV?? I have seen it pour down in the jungle and sometimes there is a bad storm in Summer Bay and they have to wait until they can go Yabby Creek (excuse the spelling) because it's such a hot spot!

angel · 13-04-08

Awful! I liked them so muchHave a nice day!

Elizabeth · 13-04-08

wow those are great. lol

Chrissyisafox · 13-04-08

These are a riot!Star

Cutemum3 · 13-04-08

hehehe.....typical Aussie answers..lolMy favorite!!!21. Q: I was in Australia in 1969 on R+R, and I want to contact the girl I dated while I was staying in Kings Cross. Can you help? (USA)A: Yes, and you will still have to pay her by the hour.