dearyme

World economic models explained by cows:SOCIALISM: You have 2 cows, & you give one to your neighbour.COMMUNISM: You have 2 cows. The State takes both & gives you some milk.FASCISM: You have 2 cows. The State takes both & sells you some milk.NAZISM: You have 2 cows. The State takes both & shoots you.BUREAUCRATISM: You have 2 cows. The State takes both, shoots one, milksthe other & then throws the milk away.TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM: You have two cows. You sell one & buy a bull.Your herd multiplies, & the economy grows. You sell them & retire on theincome.SURREALISM: You have two giraffes. The government requires you to takeharmonica lessons.AN AMERICAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You sell one, & force theother to produce the milk of four cows. Later, you hire a consultant toanalyse why the cow has dropped dead.ENRON VENTURE CAPITALISM: You have two cows. You sell three of them toyour publicly listed company, using letters of credit opened by yourbrother-in-law at the bank, then execute a debt/equity swap with anassociated general offer so that you get all four cows back, with a taxexemption for five cows. The milk rights of the six cows are transferredvia an intermediary to a Cayman Island Company secretly owned by themajority shareholder who sells the rights to all seven cows back to yourlisted company. The annual report says the company owns eight cows, withan option on one more. Sell one cow to buy a new president of the UnitedStates, leaving you with nine cows. No balance sheet provided with therelease. The public buys your bull.FRENCH CORPORATION: You have two cows. You go on strike, organize ariot, & block the roads because you want three cows.JAPANESE CORPORATION: You have two cows. You redesign them so they areone-tenth the size of an ordinary cow & produce twenty times the milk.You then create a clever cow cartoon image called 'cowkimon'& market itworldwide.GERMAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You re-engineer them so they livefor 100 years, eat once a month, & milk themselves.ITALIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows, but you don't know where theyare. You decide to have lunch.RUSSIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You count them & learn you havefive cows. You count them again & learn you have 42 cows. You count themagain & learn you have 2 cows. You stop counting cows & open anotherbottle of vodka.SWISS CORPORATION: You have 5000 cows. None of them belong to you. Youcharge the owners for storing them.CHINESE CORPORATION: You have two cows. You have 300 people milkingthem. You claim that you have full employment, & high bovineproductivity, & arrest the newsman who reported the real situation.BRITISH CORPORATION: You have two cows. Both are mad.IRAQI CORPORATION: Everyone thinks you have lots of cows. You tell themthat you have none. No one believes you, so they bomb the **** out ofyou & invade your country. You still have no cows, but at least now youare part of a Democracy.WELSH CORPORATION: You have two cows. The one on the left looks veryattractive.AUSTRALIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. Business seems pretty good.You close the office & go for a few beers to celebrate.

karidiculous

Ohmygod.HAHAHAThat's amazing.I think I just died laughing.

goodguy

i've seen this before, it's been around awhile, but it is still funny. thanks for the humor.

babieC

LMAO thats really funny!!!!!!!!good one I'll give you a star

89kidd

omg n itz tru lmao

Balamory86

HAHA, this is really funny and made me snigger quite a lot. My family who are sitting nearby in the same room as me were giving me funny looks, I think they think I'm crazy.Thanks for making me laugh, you should be teaching children!

PrageshS

loool love it (Y)

oapmotorist

Many a true word spoken in jest.

PatD

this one is printed on this site every week .................get a life

pkdann

This is my first time of seeing this. It is dead brilliant and true. I love the Russian one.